Not Booked Still Blessed

Here's a truth - I haven't had a theatre contract since 2022. Even writing that date feels remarkable. I wasn't getting constant work, but I was getting quality work. Shows I cared about, with people I loved, in theatres that knew what they were doing. In retrospect, it was a good run.

I have had film work in the past 4 years, which has been a different kind of blessing. I'd wanted to work in film/TV for years; I couldn't find the time and energy. I was focused on getting my theatre career really established. I was also maintaining my private voice studio. I am passionate about helping others sing, I'm good at it and it is a reliable source of income for me.

Exhausted yet? My life is a balancing act. It has always been a balancing act and it always will be. That's life as a creative in the US. Get comfortable with that as soon as you can.

This year, I've changed my priorities. For the first time since I graduated from college (except for the years when raising our son, which I must tell you about sometime), I have decided performing will not be my top priority. I admit to running low on gas. Send some love - saying that out loud is hard.

I'm not done, rather I'm lowering my investments. There will be a day when my voice is silent. This isn't that day. (If you saw Buena Vista Social Club, that line might sound familiar. I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to go find the journal in which I wrote it down. Wrote it down because it lodged into my soul and mind.)

There are other passions I'm more interested in giving my energy to. Like travel. Of course.

Since the 2024 presidential election here in the US, my husband and I, like many Americans, have seriously discussed leaving the country. In the end, we had to admit that we loved this country too much to leave permanently. To leave felt like the ultimate act of privilege. "Hey, we have money and a little bit of power. So long everybody else. You fix the problems. We're going away to watch from afar." Couldn't do it.

However, we COULD travel more frequently. Which is what we are doing. We try to get away every 2 months, except June - September. Two reasons for that. #1 - everyone else goes in the summer, which makes travel a slog. #2 - The Phillies. Okay, one more reason. We love being home in the summer. Our backyard is gorgeous, there's tons of local fun (shout out to Happy Hour at Birchrun Hills Farm) and our HVAC system works really well. Why leave then?

Which is why we returned recently from a wonderful 10 days in Germany. Dresden, Leipzig and Berlin, to be specific. The last time we were in Berlin, there was a wall there. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, it is gone. Except for the memorials and the art.

We were nerds, immersing ourselves in music, history and music history. We might have found some beer, wine and excellent food as well. We stayed for days in each city. Most days we had one specific place or event. That's all. Which left plenty of time for walking, sitting in cafes or parks (we're not particularly good at this; we got better), reading, scouting out restaurants, sleeping in (I am the queen of sleeping in), riding trains or trams (German public transit is still remarkably efficient, clean and comfortable). Yes, we went to museums. Also operas - 6 in 10 days, as well as a concert and a church service (Bach. Thomaskirche. Those two words should explain everything). This fantastic Christopher Isherwood walking tour.

A long time ago, Germany was the first country outside of North America that I experienced. I lived there for 6 months as a twenty-something. I was there long enough to have good and bad experiences, to learn the language, to have to buy groceries, but not long enough to get a job. I've been there 4 or 5 times since that first adventure. Germany has always felt like my European home. I go there and immediately feel comfortable. I know it isn't as sexy as Spain or Italy. It's my Germany. I loved it then and I still love it now.

I took a specific curiosity with me this time. Living in this cruel time in the US, I often wonder about Germany during the Nazi era. Did people actually understand what was happening? Were they ignoring it? Did they support it? Are we in the US currently living a similar experience? I didn't get specific answers, but I did notice this - Germany does not hide its terrible, awful past. There are memorials everywhere to the cruelty of the Nazi regime, AND cruelties that have happened more recently. In Leipzig, there was a small plaque on a bridge in a park reminding us that a unhoused person was killed there by neo-Nazis...in 2008. I didn't take a photo. I take rotten photos. Also, I want to be in the moment. I don't want to be chronicling every moment for the overlords. You'll have to believe me.

I will end with 2 photos, both from Berlin.

At the Nollendorfplatz U-Bahn Station. If you know, you know. Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

The best photo I took on the trip. Somewhere in Berlin. I'm not going to tell you where because then you'll go there and ruin it. Find your own exquisite spot.